OK, it happens. Every mother knows it happens, and when it does you are completely beside yourself. It happens when you have zero energy left, and you are potentially at your scary breaking point. In the back of your mind, you know you only have a few more transitions to get through- dinner, dishes, and bath time. One by one, you check them off your list. You feel like you’re gaining ground, there is a light at the end of this very long day! You just have bath time to get done, and it’s smooth sailing!
Bath is running, and the kids are ignoring me every time I remind them they need to get moving and get in the bath. You resort to idle threats, finally something clicks, and they begin to do what you have asked of them!
You release a large, much needed sigh and head to the pile of dishes waiting for you. Then you hear it, “MOM I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!!” You help dry off the child who suddenly, instantly, mid-tub has to take a #2. You remind him that he would have wanted to make this transaction before loading himself into the tub. He then reminds you that you were yelling at him to get in, and he didn’t want to upset you any more!
You then feel poorly that your threats stopped your child from using the toilet. You apologize, help get him clean and able to reenter the bath, when suddenly you see IT… IT pokes its little self out from under that patch of bubbles your other son’s new toy boat is floating in… and with very little self-control from already being at your breaking point, you blurt out, “WHO SHIT IN THE TUB?”
Just like that, it’s like a shark has been spotted… Everything gets crazy, the air gets thick, and everyone starts screaming and running for cover. You are struck with thoughts of confusion, frustration, desperation and you struggle to regain control of this situation.
The innocent bystander in the tub is feeling violated and even more confused than you. You see him suddenly realize that his underwater adventures were putting him in very real danger!
You start yelling for back up! Your very weak-stomached husband begs to get out of this and is suddenly very busy folding the laundry. You know that this is a job for only the strong- you can show no weakness when faced with a shark. You gather yourself, glove up, and take it for the team!
So I ask you this- what scares you more, knowing you’re swimming with the sharks or removing them from the family bath tub?
Originally published on July 20, 2016.