Words spat out like a bat being swung. Ouch!
I was left breathless and the insult wasn’t even directed at me. More to the point I was left wordless, I wanted to defend “insecurities” but was left baffled by the questions in my head, “when did insecure become an insult?” And in the context of our conversation it most definitely was put out as an insult, no misinterpretation possible. “Don’t we all have our own insecurities about something or another?”
The lyrics from Twenty One Pilots’ song, Stressed Out, keep playing in my head, and not just because it’s my #1’s favorite song of the moment and I’ve heard it about a thousand and one times. The words, “I was told when I get older all my fears would shrink, but now I’m insecure and I care what people think” seem apropos to most individuals I know.
At some level, aren’t we all insecure in some way? We may mask it in different ways, but I find it hard to believe that everyone is 100% confident 100% of the time. Well, except my husband, he’s a rock of inherent self-assurance. My husband baffles me and amazes me on many levels – this post is not about him.
Merriam-Webster defines insecure as, not confident about yourself or your ability to do things well; nervous and uncomfortable. While Urban Dictionary defines insecure as a very flawed character trait that results from low confidence and low self-esteem often due to rejection or a humiliating experience as a child; feeling socially inadequate. Maybe it’s just me, but Urban Dictionary’s denotation seems far more negative than Merriam-Webster’s. Who feel socially adequate all the time?
I doubt myself ALL the time. I doubt myself as a runner, as a mother, as a wife, as a friend, and even sometimes as the best human being I can be. Instead of belittling people for lacking confidence maybe we should be building others up regardless of how their insecurities manifest. So, I ask again, when did “insecure” become an insult to be thrown around.