It has become evident that my almost seven year old son has been focusing a lot on my personal time. He has become very bold in expressing his observations regarding my social life, (which 95% of my time is spent with my children, if not 98%) so it’s very little, but he has this way of jabbing me with comments.
Like, “You’re leaving again?” or “Why do you only go out and not Papa? You’re never home!”
It really chaps my ass because I feel like he’s not correct, and I don’t know how to address him! Or how to teach him it’s basically not for him to comment on, or to worry about! I don’t need the guilt trip!
Am I the only one who has this problem? This is something that has been bugging me for a long time. I have almost completely molded my social calendar around it, because of how poorly I feel when he makes these comments.
I would say that on a scale of over socializing, I’m like a 3- meaning I have 3 things in a month that will take me away from my family. That may be dinner with the girls, a race, and unfortunately this year many funerals, commitments to my job, getting my hair or nails done. I mean, nothing crazy! I usually have two ladies nights (overnight) a year, but I’m racing home the next day! I even stopped running as much and exercising at home because he holds it against me!
I know I have basically let him silently control me, but the way his little remarks make me feel, it’s not even worth having company or leaving!
I am at a complete loss with this one. I know he is a control freak, but I really need to knock him down a few pegs without completely crushing him.
I was just having a conversation with a friend about children telling adults “no” and the adult’s response is always the same: “You can’t tell me no”! But the reality of it is, YES they can, and at times in their life they need to learn it’s OK to voice their opinions. I don’t want my son to think he can’t express himself when it comes to things I do that bother him, but how do you teach that as just a plain respect issue at this point in his life?
I strongly believe that children are provided more explanation then necessary in this day and age. Remember the classic, “Because I said so.”? I swore to never say that to my children, man that was a stupid idea!
Maybe we should do more children should be seen and not heard. Again, I want my children to be well-rounded and versed in this crazy world, but how do we teach them when it’s OK for them to really have an opinion without letting them feel like they rule the house?
I leave you with this:
- Do you have a social calendar?
- Do your children express themselves regarding your calendar?
- How do you respond?
- When is it OK to allow them the right to freedom of speech in the house?