After Robin’s interview and subsequent blog a few weeks ago about being pregnant later in life, The Future of having babies, I realized ‘Whoa that’s me!’ Having a baby after 30 may be clinically defined as old, but I’ve never felt like an older mom. What I have felt is confident and happy that I am exactly where I want to be with my family, career, and in my life. Therefore, I was pleasantly surprised to be a recipient of a surprise engagement a few weeks ago. Although intensely happy, I begin to realize the differences almost immediately. You see this isn’t my first time at the rodeo. I’ve been married previously and have been divorced for about 3 years. But this time, every aspect of being engaged in my 30’s is so much more amazing than in my 20’s!
I find the biggest difference to be that in my 30s, I have a better inner understanding of who I am. Only once I really understood myself could I know what and who is right for me to be with. And although I’m sure there are some 20 year olds who do have this self-awareness and understanding, a lot of us are lacking. The past ten years was jam packed with positive and negative learning experiences that have prepared me for a bright future.
I always remember Patti Stanger from the Millionaire Matchmaker stating that ‘their picker was broken’. When I was younger, my picker truly was broken. I went for instant gratification instead of looking down the long road ahead and focusing on the person who would handle all the ups and downs and crazy curves for the next 50+ years. As I aged, I learned how to pick someone who was right for me, someone who nurtured my good sides, and was patient and loving enough to work with my flaws and imperfections.
At 30 I am also more established in my career. I know what I want to do, who I want to work for, what time of time commitment I have to offer, and what I want to gain from it. I’m established, with firm roots that help me spread my branches.
Finally, I think the second time around is less showy. I don’t need a billboard to advertise our love and relationship. A simple goodnight hug and kiss are what I crave. As for a wedding…well I learned from the first one too. Right now I have a certain someone who will need college in 14 years, and I need that more than I need to ‘say yes to the dress’!
At the very end of our engagement weekend I was waiting for our car from a hotel valet when I noticed a young girl and her boyfriend. At first I was slightly envious of her, as she was so young and naïve with her whole life ahead of her. Then I noticed this 18 year old is engaged?!? And all I could think of was wow! Being engaged at 30 is so much better than at 20!
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