Knowing that I will not have any more babies has set in, and this realization has started to make me sad. It’s so exciting to hear about all the new babies who are going to be entering the world! My baby has grown so fast! It makes me so happy to watch my little man growing so strong, but I can’t stand knowing that it’s my last baby! Granted, we haven’t taken any drastic measures to make sure we don’t have any additions to our family, but we are officially at capacity.
With the days flying by, I am in need of a trip down memory lane.
Take me back to this moment when they first meet, when the love of a new brother was so fresh. The smell of his skin and the innocence of his existence made the world whole and frightening at the same time.
When holding his head up alone showed him the strength that will run through his body as he grows. The awareness of the world around him came into focus. When he looked into my eyes and smiled because he knew that I was his best friend and protector forever.
When he showed me he would make it through his days at school without me. When he showed me he was capable of communicating his needs to the teachers who would care for him.
When I watch him sleeping and hold him so close I can hear his rhythmic breathing and feel his pulse. When I see him sleeping and wish that I could keep him small forever. When I watch him sleeping and ask the universe to watch over him and protect him.
When he blows out his candles every year, I will be there to wish him a life full of happiness, moments full of celebration, and the comfort and support of positive relationships that he will grow to make.
Before I was a mother, I couldn’t understand why parents didn’t encourage their little people to grow, why they would carry their three year old around on their hip, why they would speak for their children instead of letting their children speak for themselves. It all makes so much sense to me now!
These are the days to remember, days until we have no more.