Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee. Also, I don't drink coffee.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) June 10, 2013
I was never much of a coffee drinker. I was, however, a coffee-flavored ice cream eater. In fact, the first time I really had coffee was in college when I needed to pull an all-nighter to get a paper done. Our cafeteria had a cappuccino machine and I thought – if you’re gonna do it, Amy, go all in. It was the kind of machine where you press a button and some sort of powder concoction mixes with hot water and dribbles down into your paper cup, not an actual espresso machine. And it was the kind of drink that you take down with a scowl on your face hoping you don’t throw it up. Perhaps I should have stayed away from disgusting fake cappuccino for my first foray into caffeine. I can still taste the nastiness in my mouth twenty (TWENTY?!?!) years later. After that experience, I generally avoided coffee during college, except for the stint I did working for a coffee kiosk on campus (gotta love work study). They stopped staffing me there fairly quickly as I clearly had no idea what I was doing. One time a woman, probably a professor, barked some long ridiculous order to me and after I made it, I realized she asked for decaf and whatever it was that I made her was definitely NOT decaf. She must have seen me make it, too, because she asked as I handed her the cup, “This is decaf, right?” And I replied the only way a teenager would upon realizing she made a mistake (that is, to lie), “Yes. Yes, it is.”
Flash forward twenty years (omg, TWENTY?!?!) and faced with the reality after having two kids that I just won’t be sleeping anytime soon plus the existence of a Keurig machine in our house, I have accepted the role caffeine must now play in my life. Now that I’m back at work and, honestly, in a bit of a funk, I’ve been drooling over some absolutely wonderful coffee mugs that would make my workdays more enjoyable, if only to put a little gleam in my sarcastic eye. Now, I should have come up with this list LAST WEEK when someone could have gifted me one of these gems – but let’s not harp on my inability to plan. Anyways, here is my list of five wonderfully witty cups, and two pretty ones:
There’s a chance this is my favorite.
Just try to spend the rest of the day NOT singing, “I’d rather die than give you control.”
And the first pretty mug. (Also, the most reasonably priced on this list.)
An old lady once said this to me after shaking my cold hand (but see “black like my soul” above).