You know those days? The days where there is never enough toilet paper in the bathroom. The days where you get in line at the grocery store only to find out the cashier is new and has never processed double manufacturer coupons — and you’re behind the lady who brings her coupons to the store in a trapper keeper (no judgement, lady…major props!)
Well…Sunday was one of those days.
It started off great, I enjoyed a fabulous morning running with a fellow running mama. However, upon returning to my tower of terror I found my children fighting , the house messy and unusually dusty?! Ugh, can I please catch a break.
As I was getting in the shower I bent down to take off my socks and developed a painful Charlie horse in my rib cage! I could barely stand. There I was naked, with my socks on and in extreme pain. I willed myself to tug them off and rolled into the shower; the hot water seemed to make it better. Then, I tried shampooing my hair! Are you F%^&*NG KIDDING ME! I literally had to lie down on the floor of the shower and wait for the spasm to pass. I knew I couldn’t wait long, because my husband had to take my daughter to a birthday party. I should have taken this as a sign of the day to come. #showerfail
In all my years of being a parent, I’ve come to accept grocery shopping with multiple children will always be a shit show. I’m ready for whatever craziness is gonna go down. Enough said. #stopandshopfail
That afternoon my girls were bickering and generally choosing not listening. As my head began to explode…I actually yelled out loud, “that’s it! Christmas is cancelled!” Good grief, why do I do that to myself? My children know darn well I am not powerful enough to cancel Christmas! So…instead, I look like a maniac who can’t follow through with consequences. #parentingfail
I prepped and served dinner. As I was picking up the dishes I dropped not one but two bowls of food onto the floor! I clearly should have taken this as a sign to throw up my white flag and head to bed. #kitchenfail
After dinner it was time to trim the tree! Every year my husband inevitably bitches about not having enough lights on the tree and honestly, it’s because he wraps them incorrectly. So, this year I got up on my high horse and did it the right way…except, I messed up what end plugs into what (my god! If I were going to be good at any Christmas task, you think I’d get that right!) and ended up at the bottom of the tree with nothing to plug into the wall outlet! Laugh, cry or drink wine…I opted for all three. So…I unravelled the lights and did it again. ARE YOU READY FOR THIS…I (insert every dirty swear word you can think of) did the same thing again. I’m not joking when I say I almost picked up the cute, perfectly symmetrical tree, lights and all and threw it out the door! #treetrimmingfail
At the end of the day, the day that beat me to within inches of running away, I sat down with some craft supplies and attempted to make my daughters a special/cool advent calendar. My husband walked past eyeing me, like, “seriously…I saw what you did to the tree” but was smart enough not to say a word.
45 minutes later…I did it! Check it out!
I pooped a little rainbow into my shitty day! Next time one of those days starts getting you down, think about pooping a little rainbow and you will cheer up! Heck, even just saying (not in front of children please!) pooping rainbows, makes you feel better. C’mon try it! You won’t regret it.
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