On this day before G and I “officially” commit to one another (full disclosure: scandal of scandals, we are not actually/technically/legally married) I find myself thinking about our vows. Sure, we are only having a so-small-as-to-be-petite ceremony comprised of an officiant, my parents, and a friend-as-witness for each of us, but it is still our wedding. True, I’m almost 30 weeks pregnant, exhausted, and don’t have a wedding dress, but I still plan on honoring the “something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue” tradition. Yes, we’ve imagined a more inclusive and celebratory event and party somewhere down the road in the future…but, this is real, this is it, tomorrow is our big day.
And so, here I am thinking about our vows.
We’ve already demonstrated to one another that we are with each other to have and to hold. We have a gorgeous daughter and a son on the way to show for it!
It’s obvious we love each other in sickness and health. An unexpected brush with death will force that issue and clarify and/or amplify the certainty with a quickness!
We can both honestly declare we are together for richer or poorer. We have already been there/done that with richer and poorer!
We will cherish and honor each other in faith with tenderness. Yes, yes, of course. Isn’t that the deal? It all seems like pretty sweet- if obvious- stuff to proclaim as part of the process to marrying. But…what about the other, more detailed and specific declarations that more accurately reflect our reality as man and woman, mom and dad, friends and partners?
With that in mind, I came up with a few additional points that I offer just for us:
I promise to encourage and choose healthy food options while promoting familial wellness through exercise and activity. I’m good at that kind of thing. In return, I hope you promise to cook most of our dinners! You are the master of delicious chicken, perfect sticky rice, and the world’s best enchiladas- and let’s face it, I can’t/won’t/don’t get those right. I can buy loads of organic fruit and veggies, but food preparation is not my specialty. You are the chef on this team, and without your cooking, we’d spend most evenings eating like college kids: mac and cheese and frozen pizzas forever.
I promise to get O (and our son) to hockey practice regardless of how ungodly the hour (6:30am on a Saturday?!). In return, I hope you commit to coaching their soccer teams, proudly being the soccer dad to my hockey mom. Together we can share the love of the game- and the discipline it takes to be part of a team- with our children.
And finally, I promise to champion you as a father to O and to our soon-to-be-born son. I will always emphasize the importance of your relationships with our kids; I will always encourage and promote communication and quality time with our kids; and I will never give our kids reason to doubt the strength of our bond as partners. In return, I know you will be supportive of me and my contribution as a mother and will provide for us so that I can “mom” as I have always wanted to and as you and I have envisioned.
We are truly blessed. I do not take our love, our luck, or our lives for granted. I choose you as much as you choose me. Thank you.
I love you!
And (oh yeah! can’t forget this!): I do!