Don’t tell my husband this, but I was thinking about online dating.
That’s us almost 30 years ago. But seriously, I was trying to make a list of desired attributes I might specify for a prospective date on an online dating forum. What would I look for in someone to spend time with?
Some of the first that popped into my head: Intelligent, moral, funny, kind, considerate.
But of course more and more characteristics occurred to me. Honest (but in a kind way), willing to learn and grow (but not to forcibly change him or me, but rather to evolve), willing to put me first (especially when it isn’t convenient), patient, sensitive, who can share (things and emotions), and a good communicator.
I’ve never actually even seen on online dating site, but I imagine if I plugged in all those preferred personality variables, I might not get many (any?) 100% matches — it’s a lot to expect in one person.
As I thought about it though, other than intelligence, all these traits are learned behaviors. I don’t think my children are perfect (sorry kids if you are reading this and you are shocked) — but I do believe they possess the ability to live up to all those desirable (in my view) qualities.
So, reflect on this: are you raising someone who will be a good partner for another person? Are you modeling the qualities that are on your list of an ideal life partner — at least most of the time?
The last important ingredient I’ll mention — my ideal partner is the person I can’t keep (and don’t want to keep) anything from. So I’m going to email this draft to my husband so he knows I was thinking about online dating and in the process decided I lucked out to find someone just right for me. His parents did a good job!
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