I spend a lot of time reading the same group of books to my son. I suspect most of you do, too. Despite the ka-trillion number of books strewn across the house (somehow they don’t stay on the shelves or in their bins too long), he gravitates toward a select few that we read over… and over… and over again. To the point where he can basically “read” them himself by following the pictures. Anyways, in all this reading, I get some critical thoughts. (Remember this?) And I bet you do, too. Here’s my commentary, not to be taken seriously, on some of my son’s favorite books:
Eric Carle’s The Very Busy Spider
Also known as the See You Next Tuesday who wouldn’t talk to any of the animals.
My First Truck Board Book
3 out of 4 of the pictures on the left page have one syllable descriptions. And then there’s “stones and earth”. How about just “dirt”?
Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown
I assume this cloth book is just a truncated version of the real book. I’m not sure what happens in the full version, but there is a very creepy jump from one scene to the next that would cause me nightmares.
Johnny Tractor’s Animal Opposites
Spoiler alert: The entire book is a big build up for a very disappointing ending. The tractor convinces pair after pair of opposite farm animals to follow him. “I have something for you to see!” he entices each pair. Well, I won’t totally ruin the surprise, but it is a pretty big let down. I was hoping for something more exciting. The only fun part of the ending is that Johnny Tractor’s last line is a lot like Patty Stanger’s catchphrase from Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker: “Meet my millionaires!” And I read the last line just like she says her catchphrase. I guess if you are one of the 3 people on this earth who both watch that show and have this random John Deere book, you might find that funny…
Penguin on Vacation by Salina Yoon
Nothing about this story makes sense. And I feel like the author totally downplays the best line in the story – when Penguin’s crab friend leaves a note for Penguin on a seashell. “I shell return.” it says. Hilarious!
Dr. Seuss’ Hop on Pop
Now this is one of my favorite books to read and it is also one that Ben can “read” himself. I throw this one in here for one thing (or should that be, Thing 1?) only. Exactly what kind of demon is Jim?
There you have it. Thanks for letting me get those comments off my chest. Want to share any ridiculous things you’ve had to read (and read and read) to your kids?