The other day, while in the elevator of my condo building, a women whom I often see, struck up a conversation with me. “Why are they so cute at that age?” she asked referring to my son. She went on to ask, “Are you going to have another one?” I quickly replied, “yes, absolutely…just not quite yet.” Then, without any hesitation, she informed me she and her husband just decided the night before they were not going to have another (they have a 4 or 5-year-old daughter). She went on to say she was getting older, and it didn’t feel right for them, but it was her last comment that really stuck with me. She said, “I feel like the decision to have number 2 is so much harder than the decision to have your first one.”
There I was again, confronted with something that has been on my mind for a while. It seems like everyone thinks it’s ok to ask, “When are you having another baby?” The thing is, I absolutely agree with the last statement she made. For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to be a mother of two children aged two years apart. However, as we approach my son’s second birthday, I am not pregnant and I’m not sure when I will be. I’ve definitely been thinking about it – it’s hard not to as everyone asks me and I happen to be in the stage where all of my mom friend/acquaintances are already onto their second. Turn on the TV, and the media is buzzing about “Royal baby number 2!” I often find myself wondering, am I ready and how did they know they were ready?
Before I had my first, I had these blissful imaginations of what being a mom would be like. I knew there was hard work involved, but nothing prepares you for what parenting is really like. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mommy, but let’s face it, it is a lot of work! We are just getting into a stage where things feel easy; we are travelling a lot and are able to do so much more with our son. Most importantly we are FINALLY getting sleep! The thought of going back to the newborn days seems like we might be going backwards. Plus my husband likes to make all of the logical and logistical arguments – specifically referencing the financials that are involved with adding onto our family. Then I have to think about how Landon would handle a baby in the home and having to split my attention between two children.
Still, all that aside, I feel emotionally ready and I find myself thinking of the greater good for our family. I think there is something very special about the relationship of siblings who are close in age. As they grow together, they have each other as companions and playmates. I 100% want to my son to have a sibling and I want to have two children. But, I wonder, is it better to focus on the right now or focus on the future when it comes to making this decision? Is it enough to be emotionally ready? Will we ever feel really 100% ready? How did you know you were ready?